Tough Love Takes on a Food Battle

Yeah, I know what you're thinking- I thought this blog died. I'll be honest, it kinda did for a while. It was in a coma, we can say. To be completely truthful, I've been lazy and have avoided anything related to a blog. I'm not sure why. I didn't post anything over the last 2 months and I didn't read any blogs in about that amount of time. Not sure what got into me. Anyway, I'm back.

So, about the food war (which I'm not sure will ever really be won)....

As you know, we've always struggled with Elan and food. We came to the realization that Elan is just a lazy eater when he was a little over a year old. When we first introduced meats, he wouldn't eat them. And it wasn't because of the taste, because he would eat them pureed just fine. It wasn't really the texture, either. It was the work that it took to chew the meat that turned him away. Fast forward to now and the story is not much different. Elan prefers foods he already knows he likes (sweets, crackers, fruits, pasta, nuts, etc.), prefers food that take little effort to consume, and prefers to be spoon fed (yes, I just admitted that). Plain and simple, he is a lazy eater. As he gets older, he is trying and testing how much of his way he can get. And this is where the food battle meets tough love.

Everyday, we get a written report from his preschool (oh, yes, more on his preschool in another post) on how he did that day. On Monday, it said he ate very little of his lunch. We made a slight mention of it to him, but nothing noteworthy.

On Tuesday, again, his report said he ate very little of his lunch. On our way home, I told him he would not be eating anything else until he ate a healthy meal. So, once home, I prepared him baked chicken with tons of veggies. He took one look at it and said he didn't want it. "No problem," I said, "you don't have to eat it, but just know there isn't anything else to eat until you eat this." It went untouched. An hour later, I asked if he wanted me to heat up his food and he said yes. When I presented it to him, he said the same thing, he didn't want it. He wouldn't even try it. So, I took it back to the kitchen and told him the same thing. Bath time came around and we went through all of our bedtime routine. When the lights were out, he said he was hungry. I told him he could eat if he ate what I had prepared for him earlier. He agreed he would eat, so we made our way downstairs, and I heated up the plate of food. To my surprise, he ate EVERY LAST PIECE OF FOOD on that plate, without a single face or gag! And he ate it on his own and quickly! I thought I had succeeded in getting my point across.

On Wednesday, I go to pick him up and again, there is a report that he did not eat very much of his lunch. Sigh. By this point, I'm pretty upset. I talked to his teacher about it and made mention of it to him while still at school. When we got in the car, he got a lecture. I have to admit, I felt quite silly lecturing an almost-3-year old, but I basically told him why I was disappointed, what I expected of him, that there would be absolutely no sweets until he started eating better, and that he was going to have to eat on our terms. The car was dead silent and he looked very serious. He knew very well, he was in trouble. While on the way home, he asked if I'd make him a PB&J sandwich. Nope. He asked a few more times and I didn't budge. Since I knew he was hungry, I decided to prepare his first meal completely on my terms. So, I got 3 Ritz crackers, topped them with chicken salad, and served it with a bowl of steamed edamame. He looked at the chicken salad, asked what it was, then said he didn't want it. He just wanted the cracker. No siree! This was an all or nothing deal. So, I gave him the look and another reminder that he needed to at least try foods. So, knowing he was already in trouble, he tried it. And much to his surprise, he liked it. During this meal, he also had to show me how he was going to use the spoon to feed himself at school. He ate everything and asked for more chicken salad. Ha! Before going to bed this night, he told me he would eat at school the next day.

In telling my mom and a few coworkers about the tough love approach, I heard things like, "You're so mean." "I would have given in and given him PB&J." "Poor Elan." "He's so young."

So, today, I went to pick him up, saw his report and it said he ate. Phew! When he saw me, the first thing he did was run up to me and tell me ate today, very excitedly, I must add. In hearing this, the teacher turns to me, and says, "yes, he ate... A LOT."

Success.

As a small reward, he got to chew gum on the way home. :)

While I doubt our food war is over, tough love prevailed on this recent battle, and I've learned a lot about sticking to my guns. You may be asking yourself, "why all the fuss?" Well, we are living in a world where more and more kids have a feeling of entitlement and feel they can always get their way. If we continue to raise our kids with that kind of mentality, we are setting them up for disappointment when real life hits. Elan may be young, but it has to start now. He has to know there are boundaries, there are rules, and they're not his rules. I'm not trying to be a micro manager of his life, I'm just trying to make him a better person while I can. He needs to understand that right now I know what's best for him.

What are your thoughts on tough love (or anything else mentioned in this post)?

Tyler Florence

If any of you were friends with me on Myspace (remember that?), you might remember my "about me" section. Somewhere in there I mentioned that I'd like to meet Tyler Florence, the chef. There was a time in my life when I was a Food Network, HGTV, Travel Channel, and TLC junkie. I could watch these channels for hours. We no longer have these channels since we just have basic cable, so I don't know who the "in people" are now. But I was am a fan of Tyler Florence. Back then, it was because of his good looks and I thought his recipes were good. As a matter of fact, my Thanksgiving turkey recipe which I use every year, and happens to get tons of great reviews, comes from him.... along with my cranberry sauce and green bean recipes.

Anyway, today, I am a fan because of his newest book, Start Fresh. It's about getting kids to eat healthy right from the start, by feeding them fresh foods from your very own kitchen and avoiding the jarred stuff. If I have one regret in parenting, it's that I used the jarred stuff and didn't experiment in the kitchen when preparing Elan's meals. That could be a whole other post. Anyway, after a long battle with pickiness, Elan now eats well and he gets a good variety of foods. I'm happy to say, he's never been a "chicken nugget, grilled cheese, macacroni- eating" kid. He eats what we eat (finally) and we stay away from the kids menu at restaurants because it's usually all junk and it almost never resembles what the rest of the adult menu looks like.

Well, yesterday, I got to meet Tyler Florence at Whole Foods. He was there for a book signing, promoting his new book. So, even though I'm not one to be star struck, nor do I chase around celebrities, I had to go to this. I'm a fan and I completely agree with everything in his book and what he is trying to promote. What I love most about this book, is that once your child is old enough, he/she eats what you eat. The recipes are for you, and then you put the child portion in the food processor to get it to whatever consistency your child can eat (depending on their age).

For Elan, we can skip the single ingredient purees and pretty much all of the things listed in the first few months of the book. And of course, there is no food processing for us either. Thank goodness, we can cook and serve as is. Even though Elan is a pretty healthy eater, I'm always looking ways to make things better and expose Elan to new things, since I am a picky eater and can still be that "chicken nugget, grilled cheese, and macaroni" eating kid sometimes. I will say, I have become a better, healthier eater since having Elan. If I want him to eat his veggies, I have to, too.

So, we have already started using the recipes and if I'm lucky enough, I'll get my chance to start the book from the very beginning one day with baby #2 (if we ever have a #2). We shall see.

Not the greatest picture, but it's the only one I have, so I just had to post it. :)

P.S. Elan is not completely deprived. He gets his share of desserts and not-so-healthy foods sometimes. It's just not an everyday thing.

Cough

Elan seems to be coming down with a cough. He We had a rough night last night because he was obviously not feeling well. It's such a helpless feeling when you can't make them more comfortable. Of course, with little ones, medication has been a hot topic lately. Do you or don't you? Personally, when it comes to my own illnesses, aches, and pains, I try to stay away from medication whenever possible. I'm not quite a hippie, but I prefer more natural ways to remedy the situation. When it comes to Elan, I kinda feel the same way, but I can't feel his pain or discomfort, so I'm quicker to act (reach towards "medication"). Of course, this is only after I have explored less aggressive options. Here are some things that we try.

No fans- The ceiling fan is immediately turned off. 

Hot Lemonade-  This is my favorite. Heat a cup of water for 30 seconds in the microwave, squeeze in half of a lemon, add 1.5 teaspoons of honey (local), and mix. Drink up. It's tasty and soothing.

Humidifier- This is also controversial. Some doctors recommend the warm, moist air, much like what you could get from a steamy shower. Others are now recommending the cool, moist air. We go for the warm, moist air. We don't use this in the warmer months, though. So, I won't be taking out the humidifier this time around. Also, I don't use the gel that is sold to put in the machine, just plain water.

Vicks VapoRub- I guess some might say this is medicine, since it is medicated. But it's not an oral medication, so I'm not counting it. Growing up Vicks (commonly referred to a "beeks") was applied to the chest and back. I recently learned that many people put it on their children's feet and put socks on. Doctors can't really explain why this works, but it does.

All Natural Cough Syrup- This is our last resort. It's sold over the counter in most places. I'm not sure what the brand is. It doesn't seem to make a huge difference, so I prefer not to use it.

How about you? Do you know of any home remedies that seem to work for coughs?