Tough Love Takes on a Food Battle

Yeah, I know what you're thinking- I thought this blog died. I'll be honest, it kinda did for a while. It was in a coma, we can say. To be completely truthful, I've been lazy and have avoided anything related to a blog. I'm not sure why. I didn't post anything over the last 2 months and I didn't read any blogs in about that amount of time. Not sure what got into me. Anyway, I'm back.

So, about the food war (which I'm not sure will ever really be won)....

As you know, we've always struggled with Elan and food. We came to the realization that Elan is just a lazy eater when he was a little over a year old. When we first introduced meats, he wouldn't eat them. And it wasn't because of the taste, because he would eat them pureed just fine. It wasn't really the texture, either. It was the work that it took to chew the meat that turned him away. Fast forward to now and the story is not much different. Elan prefers foods he already knows he likes (sweets, crackers, fruits, pasta, nuts, etc.), prefers food that take little effort to consume, and prefers to be spoon fed (yes, I just admitted that). Plain and simple, he is a lazy eater. As he gets older, he is trying and testing how much of his way he can get. And this is where the food battle meets tough love.

Everyday, we get a written report from his preschool (oh, yes, more on his preschool in another post) on how he did that day. On Monday, it said he ate very little of his lunch. We made a slight mention of it to him, but nothing noteworthy.

On Tuesday, again, his report said he ate very little of his lunch. On our way home, I told him he would not be eating anything else until he ate a healthy meal. So, once home, I prepared him baked chicken with tons of veggies. He took one look at it and said he didn't want it. "No problem," I said, "you don't have to eat it, but just know there isn't anything else to eat until you eat this." It went untouched. An hour later, I asked if he wanted me to heat up his food and he said yes. When I presented it to him, he said the same thing, he didn't want it. He wouldn't even try it. So, I took it back to the kitchen and told him the same thing. Bath time came around and we went through all of our bedtime routine. When the lights were out, he said he was hungry. I told him he could eat if he ate what I had prepared for him earlier. He agreed he would eat, so we made our way downstairs, and I heated up the plate of food. To my surprise, he ate EVERY LAST PIECE OF FOOD on that plate, without a single face or gag! And he ate it on his own and quickly! I thought I had succeeded in getting my point across.

On Wednesday, I go to pick him up and again, there is a report that he did not eat very much of his lunch. Sigh. By this point, I'm pretty upset. I talked to his teacher about it and made mention of it to him while still at school. When we got in the car, he got a lecture. I have to admit, I felt quite silly lecturing an almost-3-year old, but I basically told him why I was disappointed, what I expected of him, that there would be absolutely no sweets until he started eating better, and that he was going to have to eat on our terms. The car was dead silent and he looked very serious. He knew very well, he was in trouble. While on the way home, he asked if I'd make him a PB&J sandwich. Nope. He asked a few more times and I didn't budge. Since I knew he was hungry, I decided to prepare his first meal completely on my terms. So, I got 3 Ritz crackers, topped them with chicken salad, and served it with a bowl of steamed edamame. He looked at the chicken salad, asked what it was, then said he didn't want it. He just wanted the cracker. No siree! This was an all or nothing deal. So, I gave him the look and another reminder that he needed to at least try foods. So, knowing he was already in trouble, he tried it. And much to his surprise, he liked it. During this meal, he also had to show me how he was going to use the spoon to feed himself at school. He ate everything and asked for more chicken salad. Ha! Before going to bed this night, he told me he would eat at school the next day.

In telling my mom and a few coworkers about the tough love approach, I heard things like, "You're so mean." "I would have given in and given him PB&J." "Poor Elan." "He's so young."

So, today, I went to pick him up, saw his report and it said he ate. Phew! When he saw me, the first thing he did was run up to me and tell me ate today, very excitedly, I must add. In hearing this, the teacher turns to me, and says, "yes, he ate... A LOT."

Success.

As a small reward, he got to chew gum on the way home. :)

While I doubt our food war is over, tough love prevailed on this recent battle, and I've learned a lot about sticking to my guns. You may be asking yourself, "why all the fuss?" Well, we are living in a world where more and more kids have a feeling of entitlement and feel they can always get their way. If we continue to raise our kids with that kind of mentality, we are setting them up for disappointment when real life hits. Elan may be young, but it has to start now. He has to know there are boundaries, there are rules, and they're not his rules. I'm not trying to be a micro manager of his life, I'm just trying to make him a better person while I can. He needs to understand that right now I know what's best for him.

What are your thoughts on tough love (or anything else mentioned in this post)?